We create that which we are triggered.

When we work on ourselves we release those close to us and thus change our relation with them.  Often we want those around us to change so that we do not have to suffer from their behavior.  Yet if we release the perspective we hold that they trigger in us,  they will automatically change towards us!  People respond to the energy we give out.  If we are giving (from a subconscious place) negative energy even though we may deny it or hide it from those that trigger us to react that way will feel it and respond accordingly.. they move away or are defensive back to us.

Therefore if you recognize that what you are responding to you created, then you know that you can change their response by releasing (from your subconscious) that negative energy triggered!  We all have the ability to self help if we just listen to our body wisdom for a few minutes a day, to train ourselves in that language, in the subtle nuances our gut/intuition shares with us.

By releasing those past perspective we free ourselves to be lighter and more present thus allowing us to follow our true divine path and deepen our relationships.