New Testimonial

When I first came to Hermas, it was with high hopes balanced by a fair amount of skepticism, I admit, to resolve a long-standing negative charge around a primary relationship in my life, one I felt was haunting me, and preventing me from moving forward.   I felt “stuck”, “trapped”, and somewhat resigned to the idea that, due to the hand I was dealt, change would be difficult or impossible regarding my perceived “lot”.  Narrative therapy, (one of many modalities that informs Hermas’ approach) was appealing to me, as someone whose work has always revolved around storytelling.  However, I had a strong attachment to the earliest, seminal “chapters” of my life, especially when it came to the prism through which I viewed my mother. The imprint was strong, almost to the point of being impenetrable.  My beliefs surrounding that particular relationship seemed doggedly true, and there was enough rational evidence to support that construct because, when I came to work with Hermas, my maternal parent, with whom I had endured such a complicated and unresolved relationship, had since passed away, without my having experienced anything even approaching closure with her.  Hermas’ deeply compassionate yet “not going to let you off the hook” tactic was to look me in the eye and say, “If you want to change your story, it’s simple.” I stared at him, incredulous, wondering if, in his enlightened wisdom, he was “simply” dismissing the pain and struggle around what had always felt like an overwhelmingly complex tangle of emotions.  I blurted,  “How could you possibly say such a thing?!” . Hermas (thankfully) responded with his usual calm and clarity: “I never said it was easy.  But I promise–and you can trust me on this–it is simple.”

That distinction, for me, was the key to unlocking the door to, well, everything.  And then the work Hermas and I started to do together began in earnest, and continues many months later to bear powerful results.  By breaking down the paradigm I’d created—excavating the deep well I’d dug for myself, a dark rabbit hole sort of place that I’d willingly tumbled down, only to be buried under the weight of the story I’d believed was my own–Hermas cleared out the distracting information, everything that I, for so many years, had latched onto as a way of defining myself.  In tugging at the threads of the tale, one by one, Hermas helped me to deal with each part of the story in manageable and comprehensible pieces.  And I found that the clarity that process afforded made room for not only real and lasting healing to take place, but for major shifts to happen.  I now see what I once regarded as obstacles in my life as simple, and, in many instances, self-created barriers against making decisions that are aligned with my true self.  Wading through the “deconstruction” has not always been easy, as Hermas, with his characteristic clear-eyed honesty acknowledges, but having the gift of his intuition and steadfast support as one’s trustworthy guide, facilitates enormous growth.  Having Hermas to help sort out the “tangled web one weaves” in fabricating a life-story, removes so much of the fear associated with letting go of familiar habits and patterns that appear to serve us. Yet, when we feel comfortable and safe enough to explore the ways in which those behaviors clearly don’t, it’s astonishing how, with commitment and practice, those “old ways” can be transformed into more conscious (and healthier) choices we can then make as “awake”,  more open individuals.

The shifts that have occurred for me since I’ve begun working with Hermas are quite profound.  And my willingness to stay “stuck in a rut”, I find, has a much shorter shelf life.  I’m generally more aware now of when I’m holding on to something that doesn’t serve me; and I feel as though I have much less tolerance for allowing those things to steer my life’s course–personally, professionally, and most importantly (to me), as a wife and a mother.  My own parenting skills, my “Achilles heel” as I once referred to it,  are something I approach now with much more confidence and awareness of the ways in which I am NOT doomed to repeat, reenact, or recreate the dynamics of the relationship I used to feel so greatly influenced me, the one I shared with my own mother.  Hermas has been especially helpful to me in unlocking something I never thought possible… my capacity for forgiveness around this particular childhood scar.

Hermas has helped me discover the inner resources I’ve always had (but didn’t necessarily understand how to access) in order to address what most of us feel wedded to–the story we’ve written for ourselves.  Hermas believes we all have what we need to feel fulfilled—the very definition of living an authentic life–if only we knew how to connect with that deepest part of ourselves.   By supporting me in trusting my intuition and engaging in a subtle process of “re-training”, he’s helping me find the tools I need (and already possess) to discover my true life’s purpose.  Rather than passively enabling these middle years to be about the journey coming to a screeching halt by accepting that my life’s story has been foretold, Hermas has shown me that I am in the process of writing it.  STILL.   And, as any writer worth his/her salt knows, until you get the beginning of the story set right—which more often than not requires some rigorous rewrites—the rest will ring false.

For, as a wise gentleman once told me (which I now know is true), it’s that simple.

About hermas
Hermas has had a spiritual practice for over 20 years. He moved to Santa Monica 7 years ago to train as a life coach through The Coaches Training Institute. Following on from my training as a life coach I became certified through CTI an ICF accredited school of coaching (who are the governing body of professional coaches worldwide). Hermas has completed hundreds of hours of life coach related training, healing and life purpose courses. For two years running Hermas was on the board of the ICF Los Angeles chapter in the role of programs director and president elect. Until recently He was the Yogi Times Life Coach- writing a monthly column on Life coaching and healing related articles. He has been interviewed on numerous occasions about Life Coaching for CHSR Healthy, stardate2100 and CBS News. Hermas is also trained in spiritual cleansing techniques which along with systems he has developed over the years help his clients let go and forgive past grievances that free them to live empowered lives. Hermas has led workshops of up to 70 people in Los Angeles, London and Innsbruck Hermas is also an oscar nominated documentary producer (Deliver Us From Evil) A husband and father of three kids 14, 11 and 7.

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